No. I don't know which Pope John Paul. I didn't give my Soul enough time to bring through that information before I reacted to hearing that name and to be honest, it's been a journey the last couple of days with anger, tears, frustration, embarrassment, etc. A whole smorgasbord of thoughts and emotions throwing a monkey wrench in my week and sending me down a path I wasn't expecting. But that's how my life is. I just have to roll with it and deal with things as they come. It's not always fun, but I can say my life isn't boring.
A little bit of explanation is needed. I didn't grow up with any religion, although I do have extended family members and friends who did and still are connected with various institutions. My personal philosophy was (and is) of acceptance of anything as long as it wasn't hurting anyone. One of my BFF's and others in my extended circle are Catholic. One practicing, the others not so much. I won't lie and say that I don't have ISSUES with certain things that have unfolded, but from a spiritual perspective, I can see the benefits that people may gain from a mindset perspective in following those beliefs.
After my own awakening and Soul embodiment with one aspect of my guidance being brought through as a channel, I think many can see where there might be some conflicts created, even though I have never been directly confronted by anyone as possessed, evil, etc., etc. And I am blessed to have that amazing best friend who, while Catholic, has stood by me through my process, always allowing me to share my ups and downs. And all the while, even though she may not have understood it, she believed in me enough to know that I wasn't making it up, and was even a witness/participant in the magic that can come through connecting with our Souls.
This last Wednesday after doing a much needed video session of Guidance for the Soul - "Moments of Love," I received the message from my Soul about guidance from Pope John Paul. I instantly reacted. I can't even remember what I threw out there in my mind, but I can pretty much say it wasn't pretty. I found myself on the offensive and then the defensive within minutes, going back and forth between the two as my thoughts just kept coming. The majority of this was about the notion of responsibility around the cover-up and enabling of child molestation done through the church and known all the way to the top.
Then came the moments of guilt for being mad, not being able to just listen to whatever was going to come through. My own moments of lack of acceptance. I wasn't sure if it was intended as a test for me, but it sure turned felt like one. But I'm looking at it more like a mini-journey into an aspect of who I am.
I wanted to distract myself away from it. I had other things to do, but the thoughts kept coming back and I'd get frustrated again. I processed with a couple of people without being able to put it to rest. It had been almost two days and I knew I had to go "outside" to bring something in.
"Here Comes the Heretic"
I've been working with a wonderful coach (Kate Varness) during a process of course development who brought back an understanding from a system that I delved into years ago called Human Design. Anyone that knows me, knows I love having fun and trying out various tools of understanding myself and others. Some things I let go, and sometimes I find myself going back, just because. Don't get me wrong, my Soul rocks, but I definitely was feelin' like I was needing some fun and for me, that could be books, systems, etc.
Kate had told me something that I had forgotten. That there's an aspect in my blueprint called "The Heretic." In another interpretation of it, it's called "The Anarchist." Now, don't take those literally because they aren't defined in the literal sense. It's more nuanced and from what would be considered, more spiritual sources. Not biblical. I'm more of the let's be comfortable questioning authority, values, beliefs, laws, etc., so that we can establish if there might be something that would benefit from a change.
Remember, I'm the one that kept hearing from my Soul that people were praying for my Soul and I finally went in and unwound why that was bothering me, considering I was feeling good about my guidance and my process. I wrote this blog post about another perspective on prayer. Through my own understanding of the Karpman Drama Triangle, I've applied it to the idea of people needing to be rescued and/or "saved." It's not in an attempt to piss people off, but literally to try to free my mind from ideas that may be holding myself back. And in doing so, others may see the benefit in looking at those same ideas, values, etc. Thus, I would not be surprised if anyone did indeed get triggered by my social media or blog posts. I would hope they would first understand that this is a process that has served me well, and enabled me to do the work that actually allowed me to connect with my Soul which also allows me access to guidance for ALL. It doesn't mean I expect anyone else to follow my path. In fact, I highly encourage people to do whatever feels right for them and if they're happy, then that's great!
So why write this blog post? I feel it's important for people on their own journeys to see that even as guides (which we all are for each other in certain respects), we still have our own challenges. Do I have more than others? I don't know. I would want people to see how it's ok to stumble. I'm on an amazing journey, even if it doesn't necessarily feel like it sometimes or look like it to others and that's ok. I want you to see how it can be since I know that I have often looked to other guides and thought to myself "I'm not there yet." just because I assumed they had it all figured out. No challenges, right? I'm pretty sure most would admit that they themselves sometimes have their own issues to deal with. After all, that's life, right?! Sometimes I have to dive into the deep end.
So I'm take stock of my life, my journey and trying to remember that I don't have to look at this as a catastrophe. Will I be in a position to get the guidance? Maybe. Will it be brought to the public? Most likely not because of some personal boundaries that I have placed with my own Soul concerning those who would be considered victims here in this plane. My own sense was that it was going to be more about my own growth around the topics that I discussed above. Only time will tell. ;)