I struggled with anxiety ever since I was a child. I just didn't know what to call it. Mine was definitely more pronounced in social situations, i.e. social anxiety. All of my elementary teachers said I was very "conscientious" on my report cards. At one point, it got so bad that I didn't like going out in public. I overcame that. I became aware of a lot of the tension in my body, especially my stomach, and realized I would hold my breath without realizing it. It took me a lot of time to become aware of that and how much I was worried about what everyone else was thinking about me, especially when I was feeling down. Anxiety/depression often go hand in hand. I broke free of it while on my "mid-life reevaluation." The words/thoughts that were running through my mind as I thought about myself were a big part of the issue for me. Doing public and live sessions (facebook) brought up some of those again, but I know how to deal with them now so it doesn't become an issue.
Here is some perspective brought through from a Soul level understanding about how language, thoughts, perspectives, & perception can either help us or hinder us. I love the guidance about language and perspectives brought through in this session.
"Do I look into the mirror and say, “Am I arrogant by thinking I am beautiful?” Or am I confident in how I look? Do I feel good about how I look? Okay. See it's all–it's all speculation. How many people are actually going to [en]vision themselves using various words? In one system that I used, there were vibrational frequencies attached to words with long, lengthy descriptions, okay. And in essence, I could bring through the Soul of that Soul that would know how to characterize the vision of arrogance versus self-consciousness, right. I was also self-conscious the majority of my life. How many people know what that vision feels like for a Soul? Always aware of who you are and who others are. That's the nature of anxiety for a lot of people as well. Others are self-conscious. That's where I lie. I'm conscious of the visions of those Souls who want, it's like, anxiety help. So how do I break that trap of putting myself in the vision of “I am anxious or I have anxiety.” I get out of the mindset of it. It's about placing your vision on your heart. Your mind is your weapon that you can use against your own Soul, okay.
So we have to say, “I am loved by my Soul. Why am I looking to those outside of myself to determine who I am as a person? Why am I holding their visions of who I am higher than myself?” That's the nature of much of the conflict in our visions for who we are. We are basing our lives on the visions of others whether we care to admit it or not. Because if I was truly like free from that vision of caring about what other people think, I wouldn't be walking around in a state of wondering what others were thinking about me, right? And that's the beauty. Once you get out of that vision of it, it begins to be a little bit more instructional, okay. You start to challenge those ideas. Who's thinking about me and why? Does it actually matter? Is it something that I can change or is it something that I can address, right? And–and who are these people that I'm so worried about?
So if I'm worried about other people in the sense that I'm a caretaker, that's a much different vision than those who are in the vision of “I am anxious for no reason other than the fact that I am so self-aware of my surroundings and my–my vision of who I am as not feeling good in my Being,” okay. “I am destructive in my mindset as an anxiety-ridden child.” That was me. “I knew everything about everybody without knowing what was going on,” right. I had no idea what was going on and that's the thing that much of us in this position of love, have to start to understand.
When you create with visions of love as a child and we're not demeaning anybody at this point. This is the beauty of who we are, you start to understand that those of us who are not meant to be on stage, right? “I never in my life thought I would feel comfortable walking in public again,” right? How many people want to know what that vision is like? I've got several people who are starting to wonder if they're going to be able to bring through their vision of love for that Soul.